Top Ten Rules for Dating at Almost-50 (or shopping end of season sales...)

I have noticed that dating at this stage of life is remarkably similar to shopping sales at the end of any season... Allow me to illustrate:

1)     Only go to your favourite spots.  Picked-over at the places that you only sort-of like will leave you with way less than you would consider any other time but picked over at your favourite place could leave you a diamond in the rough you'd be proud to take home.
2)     Don't skip the "gently used" or "returns".... Great stuff can be found here!  Having said that, broken is broken.
3)     Packaging and marketing can be deceptive.  You really need to completely check things out to make sure everything is as promised
4)     You really need to look around.  A lot.
5)     Be honest with yourself first... Know what you'll accept and what you won't.
6)     At the same time, go in with an open mind... Maybe you would never consider a button-down shirt with pinstripes but sometimes you have to try things on to see how great they are.
7)     Remember, this has to fit with your lifestyle and who you are... You're not about to change that now, are you?
8)     Carefully consider the whole package.  If there are "also comes with" included, only go for it if you're sure the "also comes with" work for you just as much what you had your eye on in the first place.
9)     Window shopping doesn't get you anything at this stage of the game... You have to just jump on in!
10)     Caveat to all of the above... Don't settle.  Ever.  If you're not sure when it's new and shiny (even if it's just new and shiny to you) you'll never be sure.

And, so I will carry on.

Wake up whispers

Life has a funny way of giving you a nudge; the proverbial wake up call... Whether it comes in a soft whisper in your ear as you are still groggy in your realizations of who and where you are in your life or an amplified message, delivered via megaphone to break through your complete obliterated fog of non-reality-based reality.

Today I had a couple of them... I would call them more whispers than megaphone calling cards but wake up calls they were.

The first came unexpectedly from my oldest son.  We were just catching up on the phone this morning, sharing the experiences we had during the week and commenting on the minutia of life when this came through the phone to me...

"So... Big year this year, huh?"

I stopped cold.  What could he be referring to?  And in what was probably a split second, the following passed through my consciousness...

Is he talking about buying his house?   No, realistically that happened last year so that's not really a "this year" big thing.  Me finding love?  No.  Definitely not something my oldest (or any of my sons) would say... What son would ever have that kind of conversation with his mother of all people. Hmmm.... What could it be???

Wait.  A.  Minute. 

50

I turn 50 this year.

And there it was... On a beautiful winter Saturday morning with the sun shining and a fresh pot of coffee brewed and waiting for me.  Smack.  50.  It's like we may as well skip the formality of living this year out, you are already 50.   My dad used to say "If I died now, they would say he died in his [enter year of choice here]th year."  And if I died today, my obituary would say, "In her 50th year."  But it would also say, "she looked fabulous and acted not a day over 35" so I guess you take your victories where you can.  My boy seemed to find great glee in my angst and laughed and laughed at my ranting.  Then he said, "It's ok Mama... I'm old too... Remember I'm turning 30."

Oy.

The other wake up call came from, ridiculously, Facebook.  As I scrolled through my news feed catching up on what my friends and family are up to, there in the middle was a "recommended link" for meeting "mature men in your area."

Really?  First, how does Facebook know I'm now single?  And second, who are they to say I'm interested in a "mature man" or for that matter, a man of any kind (I know I know, that part is a bit obvious but allow me to vent would you?). 

Mean spirited.  That's what that is.

So, there they were.  Two cosmic whispers from the great out there reminding me of where I am.  So what to do?

There are two options, as I see it, when life gives you any kind of wake up call... One is to hit the snooze button and the other is to get on up and get going.

So, up I go.